清明时节雨纷纷
路上行人欲断魂
借问酒家何处有
牧童遥指杏花村

A drizzling rain falls during Qing Ming,
The passers-by on the road have breaking hearts
“Where can I find a house of wine?” a herd-boy is asked,
He points to Almond Village far away. 

Qing Ming came on the same day as Easter this year.

During Qing Ming, the Chinese visit and clean the tombs of our ancestors, making offerings and prayers to the departed. The Chinese have been venerating ancestors since time immemorial, and in 732 Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang set Qing Ming as the time for tomb visiting and sweeping.

In Singapore, the Chinese immigrants brought our traditions to these southern climes with us, building tombs for the dead and returning year after year. How strange, that these pioneer immigrants who left their home, only rarely able to sweep their own ancestors’ graves in distant Chinese villages, then became honored ancestors in these far off lands, with children and grandchildren visiting every year. It is also somewhat strange, that the oldest of these graves in Singapore are barely 200 years old, and mostly less than 100 years old, as befits a young nation that has grown mostly by immigration since 1819.

I used to visit the graves of my grandparents with my parents when I was young, during Qing Ming. As far as we could tell, my grandparents from both sides of the family were the first of their family branches in Singapore, to live, love, work and die here. We usually visited not on Qing Ming itself, but on the weekends before and after, in order to avoid the peak crowds.

I remember early morning chartered bus rides and car rides to cemeteries in the rural parts of Singapore, bringing joss paper and offerings of food. The graveyard in the early morning was dark, calm, cool and enchanting. Sometimes we could see the moon. I marveled at how the adults found their way around the rows of tombs by torchlight and moon light, bringing us to where our grandparents rested.

Later, when I grew up and joined the army as a conscript, I spent even more time in Lim Chu Kang cemetery. The cemetery abutted the Lim Chu Kang training area, and as scouts on exercise we were frequently “deployed” to the cemetery in order to look out for non-existent simulated enemy forces. The cemeteries were dry, blazing hot in the day except under tree-shade, but cool at night and calm always. This became, unexpectedly, one of my favorite places in Singapore, but many of the graves were exhumed (including my grandmother’s) in order to expand the Tengah Airbase of the Republic of Singapore Air Force.

Over the years the rhythm changed. I grew up, joined and left the army, started work. Singapore continued being redeveloped and graves were being exhumed (as they always have been here – our housing estates at Bishan, Bidadari and Tiong Bahru were built on former cemeteries) and remains relocated after cremation to columbaria, temples and churches. Our other older relatives, who passed away more recently, were directly cremated after their last rites and interred in columbaria. The government gave a 15 year tenure for burials in graves before the remains had to be exhumed, and more people chose cremation after they were gone.

From visiting cool quiet green hillside graveyards in the early morning, we began visiting large columbaria and temples, crowded with visitors and hot with burning joss paper in centralized bins, with niches and spirit tablets in multi-level arrangements. The respects, the joss paper, the prayers, were the same – just infinitely more crowded with the deceased and visitors in a small(er) space, compared to the graves which were more spread out on hills.

I haven’t gone in a few years now. Reflecting, I really don’t know why – my parents haven’t just involved me as of late, busy with travel, work and my little one. But I do know that I need to reach out – and go next year. I have relatives I need to remember, too. And I need to think more seriously about what becomes of us when the living memory runs out.

This tradition, dating back millennia, has followed the Chinese to far-away Singapore, and taken on new and changing forms in the last century. In my lifetime alone, Qing Ming has changed significantly. The graves in Singapore are young, and are mostly gone or evolved.

Will our children still observe Qing Ming and remember the departed ancestors? What happens to remembrance in an age that stores everything and forgets nothing, yet mourns nothing on its own? Will you remember us when we are gone?

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