New Arrivals
My wife is with child.
It seems strange to say it, and the road here has been harder than I imagined, but it’s true.
Some danger remains, as with all human endeavors – especially pregnancy – but my wife and I are quietly hopeful that all will be well months from now. We can only pray for it. And we are grateful.
And it seems two of my closest friends from high school – one still in Singapore, and one more in cold Europe – are in the same boat – expecting children over the next six months.
Glad news to warm the heart.
I could hardly have imagined back in high school that we’d be in our 40s talking about due dates and diving into the statistics of prenatal tests in advanced maternal age pregnancies. For what it’s worth, I am deeply thankful for the technology, advances in medical science, the doctors, and systems and processes that keep our wives and children safe.
Old Friends
I only found out these past few weeks about the impending new arrivals because close high school friends scattered across America and Europe happened to have been back to sunny Singapore, and we were planning gatherings through group chats.
Much needed emotional support at a difficult time, and also a bittersweet reunion – I am not quite sure when I will see the friends from overseas again after these weeks, with young children making it difficult to travel, and the war in the Middle East.
We met a couple of times – at homes and in McDonald’s. I rediscovered the McDonald’s loyalty programme and realized that they now had Guest Experience Leaders – the one at Plaza Singapura was more engaging and friendly than most concierges at 5 star hotels. Besides the heavy stuff on work and parenting, we chatted on the same topics as we had over half a lifetime ago, shooting the breeze over fries and McDonald’s lattes.
Sometimes, it’s good to have people who have known you since you were young around, to remind you of what being human feels like again.
An Incentive Not To Die Young
I remember our university graduation trip more than a decade ago. We were visiting the tomb of Vietnam’s 2nd last emperor, Khai Dinh, in the imperial city of Hue. By all accounts he was an idiot, a lackey to the French colonists, disliked by his people, and was amused by wearing early electric light bulbs in his belt. He had a nice tomb though.
I cannot verify this on the internet now, but I remember that one of the carvings on his tomb was “真正聪明” in Chinese, or “really smart”. Quite an inscription to have on your tomb.
Passing, we made a pact against dying young. The rest of us would go to the funeral of whoever died first and tell his grieving family that the deceased really wanted “真正聪明” to be the main inscription on their tomb.
We found it funny, as insensitive young men would. But it seemed like a good incentive not to die young, to avoid looking like a fool to the world at a time outside our control.
We are no longer young men, and to be honest, I am no longer as sure as before that we would be at each other’s funerals.
But I should warn my son against malicious uncles bearing tomb inscriptions at my funeral, when he’s old enough to manage my affairs.
Boats Against The Current
We live in interesting times, in a strange and scary world. There are some who say that the emerging AI technologies will spell doom for the entire human world. But the same rising tides of technology have made my family possible, and even now, keep them safe.
Amidst the tides of change, reminders of death and memories of tombs, some of us are making a choice and taking the point of view of the hopeless optimist – that life is worth living, that hope remains, and that our children will live good lives in whatever shape of the world that comes to pass.
Tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And then one fine morning — So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.